I've had some realizations recenty all related to water. I went on a silent meditation walk and when I walked over a bridge, I watched the water move effortlessly around the rocks. I thought to myself, "That is what I need to do!" Life always puts rocks in your way, and I want to move intentionally and gracefully through life, meaning I may need to switch direction once in awhile. Then, my morning meditation brought another insight. I read Mark Nepo's The Book of Awakening every morning. There is a passage and meditation for each day of the year. Today, the passage was about water moving when rocks are present. Instead of summarizing it, here is the passage: So, what heavy things are getting in the way of me 1) finding joy in life, 2) connecting deeply with others and 3) accomplishing my goals? And which "habit(s) of not" is at play?
The heaviest thing getting in the way is my obsession with making my body smaller. Since I gained this weight in my late 40's, it has been my priority. I am ashamed to write that, because I have other more important priorities on which to focus. I guess I feel successful in all other areas, but am I really? The habits of not that I really need to work on: Not feeling Not risking the truth I've told myself a lot of stories to avoid feeling and seeing the truth. The next step is rolling up my pants and sleeves to lift those rocks. I want to feel the cool water and weight of the rocks and just move them slightly to increase flow. I'm not going to throw them on the banks and pretend they don't exist. They are beautiful and will, over time, be smoothed by the water.
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